Recently, I was coming back from Paris to Brest in TGV. I didn't have confirmed seat. So, I roamed around in the train and then sat in the only seat available. I asked for permission, to the girl sitting next and sat there. The girl looked Indian. So, I asked are you Indian? She said no. She was a french. Then she asked me whether I am Indian or not. I said "yes". She told me that her parents were Indian but she had a french citizenship. She had been to Chennai and Pondicherry. Then we dwelled into this topic about relationships. She said why in India, it is responsibility of children to stay with their parents in old age. I told her because when we were child, they took care of us and gave more than what they had. She said they choose to have you. So, it was their duty. Honestly, I had no answers. But I was sure, she had a quite different mindset than me.
My Mom gets sick whenever we take any four wheeler(petrol/diesel allergy). Whenever we went to Rewari/Narnaul my native place, we waited for hours for train. We could easily have taken bus and reached in 2 hours. But for Mom's sake, dad used to wait for hours for train. As a child, I didnt appreciate this. But now I can appreciate this. So, Patience and small adjustments are very important for a good relationships. One has to give time to other person in a relationship. Me and my brother used to fight a lot in childhood. But over the years, I think we developed appreciation and respect for each other.
Then, I had a friend when I was in class VIII. We used to fight a lot. But through these fights, he realised what I liked and vice versa. And over the years, we became good friends. I think it is important for a relationship to go stages of group bonding like norming , storming etc...I think in a relationship, it is important to say what you feel. Because, in a long term relationship can succeed only if people truely communicate their feelings. Suppose, one thinks that somebody will change after sometime, I think the person is hoping too much. People dont change much. Going into a relationship thinking that other person will change is tough one.
Over the years, I also realised that the more I trust others, the more they trust me. Giving space and attached detachment is very important. I learnt in one of my classes, that when we care and worry too much about near ones and dear ones. Actually, we are weak and we are making them also weak. They can and will manage themselves. It is important to be there but necessary to give space.
The feeling that life is long and this world is a small place, helps a lot in developing good friendship. It is also important not to be label relationships with names. There is no need to label friends as best friend , GF , BF very soon....Nobody is running...........believe a bit in serendipity and keep the faith.......
One more point, I try to keep in my mind. This is whose movie and what is my more role. If my role is only supporting role, then better play supporting role. Dont try to be hero in all movies.
Graciousness is very important. Not all relations are about "whats in it for me". Helping others without expecting anything in return is my definition of growing old. Like in movie "Scent of a woman" sometimes Charlie will stand for Colonel and sometime Colonel will stand for Charlie. There are times to say "You are not bad, you are just in pain"
Just to go quote another movie "A walk to remember"
"Mamma Jemmy has a FAITH in me. You know, She makes me wanna be different and better."
When its about FAITH, then +s, -s and logic dont count..........
My Mom gets sick whenever we take any four wheeler(petrol/diesel allergy). Whenever we went to Rewari/Narnaul my native place, we waited for hours for train. We could easily have taken bus and reached in 2 hours. But for Mom's sake, dad used to wait for hours for train. As a child, I didnt appreciate this. But now I can appreciate this. So, Patience and small adjustments are very important for a good relationships. One has to give time to other person in a relationship. Me and my brother used to fight a lot in childhood. But over the years, I think we developed appreciation and respect for each other.
Then, I had a friend when I was in class VIII. We used to fight a lot. But through these fights, he realised what I liked and vice versa. And over the years, we became good friends. I think it is important for a relationship to go stages of group bonding like norming , storming etc...I think in a relationship, it is important to say what you feel. Because, in a long term relationship can succeed only if people truely communicate their feelings. Suppose, one thinks that somebody will change after sometime, I think the person is hoping too much. People dont change much. Going into a relationship thinking that other person will change is tough one.
Over the years, I also realised that the more I trust others, the more they trust me. Giving space and attached detachment is very important. I learnt in one of my classes, that when we care and worry too much about near ones and dear ones. Actually, we are weak and we are making them also weak. They can and will manage themselves. It is important to be there but necessary to give space.
The feeling that life is long and this world is a small place, helps a lot in developing good friendship. It is also important not to be label relationships with names. There is no need to label friends as best friend , GF , BF very soon....Nobody is running...........believe a bit in serendipity and keep the faith.......
One more point, I try to keep in my mind. This is whose movie and what is my more role. If my role is only supporting role, then better play supporting role. Dont try to be hero in all movies.
Graciousness is very important. Not all relations are about "whats in it for me". Helping others without expecting anything in return is my definition of growing old. Like in movie "Scent of a woman" sometimes Charlie will stand for Colonel and sometime Colonel will stand for Charlie. There are times to say "You are not bad, you are just in pain"
Just to go quote another movie "A walk to remember"
"Mamma Jemmy has a FAITH in me. You know, She makes me wanna be different and better."
When its about FAITH, then +s, -s and logic dont count..........
